Hello Reader of incomplete fairytales,
As you already know, we have strong legitimate relations with the Archaeological Association of Martyred Cartoons. (If you feel the need to verify the same, the link is at the end of this post.) Do keep your long-standing trust issues aside for the time being; only till you complete this post. (Please?)
When did you become so complacent?
When did you start believing every nonchalant statement preceded by the apocryphal phrase “Scientists have said or Research has shown”? (Go ahead, google the word apocryphal; you can’t get caught opening the Dictionary. You see Reader, I care about your social image too.)
When did the phrase “happily ever after” overlap with “The End”? More so, why didn’t you ever wonder what truly happened after?
No, there is no need to express any form of regret now. I have your back. I used my power in the inner circles vested in me by people who have more power than me in the inner circles.
They provided me access to the classified files of few of the fairytales I childishly sought. (The Department of Complete Fairytales is a sub division of the A.A.M.C.)
To express gratitude for not letting cobwebs and dust settle on my blog posts and for all the ego boosting and ego bruising feedback, I am sharing this classified information with you Reader!
1] File of Ms. Cinderella/Ella:
- Divorced, took back her Maiden name of Ella.
- C.E.O. of Cinders House Keeping Services. Logo of the company is a glass slipper. Channeled all her experience of working as a maid to run a full-fledged service which provides trained and highly skilled housekeepers.
- Uses the money she receives in alimony from Prince Charming, who is now King Charming, to run a N.G.O. for animals, especially mice.
2] File of Mrs. Snow White:
- Still married to The Prince.
- The poison from the apple had spread considerably before she was given the kiss of true love by the Prince. The power of true love brought her back from the dead, but couldn’t revive her original self (which means she was not made of sunshine and unicorns anymore; neither could she speak animal/bird). The delayed effects of the poison turned her into an evil dictator. She now rules over the Kingdom with the Seven Dwarves as her slaves. While the Prince has been locked up in the dungeon, she does visit him when she feels like it.
- She has been known to have a serious crush on Ms Cinderella and has been pursuing her for a while, and has been quite successful too.
3] File of Sleeping Beauty:
- Backup plan/passive girlfriend of The Prince.
- It turns out that the Kiss of Infatuation was disguised as the Kiss of True Love. So, although it did wake her up from her slumber, the power of the kiss fizzled out in 2 months. (2 months is a decent amount of time for a crush to last.) Thus, putting the princess back into her slumber.
- Currently sleeping in Ward 26 in the Hospital of Royal Screw-Ups. Frequently visited by The Prince in times of turmoil with his current Queen.
4] File of Rapunzel:
- Stuck in the Tower.
- Rapunzel being an ambitious princess, began to prepare for the Common Entrance Exam for Future Queens. With the insane syllabus and late nights she had to put in, the stress began to take a toll on her. She began experiencing severe hair fall and could no longer let her hair down for the Prince to climb the Tower.
- She has been trying to use alternate wigs, but none of them have the tensile strength to bear the weight of the Prince.
- After falling twice and fracturing his leg once, the Prince stopped visiting, leaving Rapunzel stuck in the tower, depressed and with no place to channel her ambitions.
The people who had more power than me, allowed me to share only this much content for free. They told me to charge for the rest. I listen to them since they are immensely powerful people and I don’t wish to die so young. If you want access to the remaining classified information, leave a message in the comments, I will provide you with my bank details.
No, I did not forget to attach the link for proof of my relationship with the A.A.M.C.: Yes-I-Have-Proof-Link