Head of Department
Department of Success
7, Wish Granting Building,
Only for those who work hard Road,
26, Visionary Building,
The road less travelled,
Sub: To clarify the path to my office.
I hope you receive this letter in the pink of health. How is everyone at home? Is the new born baby transfixed with the change in environment? Stop widening your eyes. I know you aren’t married yet and neither do you have a two eyed, two eared, one nose, one mouth baby. I’m talking about your new project at work; which you introduce to everyone as your baby. The project which was given a pair of wings by you and has flown from paper to the real world.
I am writing this letter in view of this same project. I have been tracing your journey since its inception. You see I have my own version of Marauder’s Map. No, don’t stress already, there is no gross error you have made (yet). I am beginning to sense a change in pattern with your generation which is misleading your entire lot. I am writing this letter with the hope that you share this with the other millennials.
You see, when you conceive your baby, your new project, your final goal is obviously to reach my office. The reasons behind this are self-explanatory since the perks offered at my office make Life a better place and the stamp of the Department of Success validates the birth of your baby.
Your understanding of how things work is fine up to this point. But for some reason the path to my office is misconstrued by you and your fellow millennials. I don’t blame you either. This is all because of my arch enemy Failure. He has opened his office in the lane adjacent to mine. And to make things worse, the name of his office is “Department of Success*”. For reasons which I fail to understand, you all don’t seem to notice the “*” at the end and reach that humbugs office.
My purpose of writing this letter was to intimate you about the differences between the paths to reach our offices so that you don’t make the same mistake thousands of innocent people have made before you. Allow me to enlist the same.
1) On the basis of name:
Please note the misleading asterisk at the end of his company name. You know the typical one where they add (terms and conditions apply) in minute font at the very end.
2) On the basis of location:
My office is located on (only those who work hard road). Whereas my rival’s office is located on (only those who fixate on luck and talent road).
3) On the basis of the Building:
Please tell me that the difference between “Wish Granting Building” and “Wish Demolishing Building” is evident to you and by now you can tell which one is mine. If not, then I can only pray for your baby.
4) On the basis of the office:
This is the most misleading and tempting tweak my arch enemy has cunningly introduced. And I want you to be alert and read this one carefully. (Please)
Both our offices are located on the 26th floor. That quack will go to every length possible to deceive you. But here is the stark difference between our offices.
There is NO elevator to reach my office, you HAVE TO use the stairs! I don’t believe in shortcuts you see. Here lies your fundamental flaw wherein you’ll have made my fellow Head of Department (Department of Hard Work), the underdog; when he must actually be the lead player.
Instead you’ll worship the fellow Head of Departments of my enemy (Department of Luck, Department of Talent, Department of Lazy). And hence, taking the elevator to reach the office of my enemy, Failure, becomes the better option. The speed and lack of effort may seem tempting but let me assure you that at the end you will not be having any association with my Department of Success.
No Dreamer don’t look at me with those questioning eyes. I know you must be thinking that I am underestimating the Departments of Luck and Talent, I also know you have 1000 examples ready to quote. But let me tell you that the Ministry of Life has not granted either of them more than 10% stake (combined) in the equation to receive the Stamp of Success from me. That is why we focused on the Department of Hard Work in our building which holds the remaining 90% stake. We have thought it through you see.
Maybe these words will help you understand why I think the Department of Hard work is the real deal:
· “Hard work beats Talent, when Talent doesn’t work hard.”-Tim Notke
· The harder you work, the luckier you get.
· “The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.”-Harry Golden
The other false status of underdog has been given to the Department of Perseverance, whose motto is,
· “Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”-Newt Gingrich
Lastly, please do your research to verify all that I have said. I am proud of how transparent our Department has always been. You can easily access our records on our website, the details of which are provided outside my office (Yes you will have to climb the stairs for that piece of information as well), to see the list of all the people who have been granted my Stamp of Success. You will find that they are all absolutely different people, with different degrees (parents if you’re reading: we don’t have a criterion to grant stamps to only Doctors, Engineers, M.B. A’s and Chartered Accountants), some with no education, some born with a silver spoon, some with the most torturous childhood. But let me tell you that the only thing they had in common was their strategy to make Hard work the lead player and not the underdog.
I hope I have made it easier for you to now locate my office. I am eagerly waiting for you to make it there soon. I can’t wait to shake your hands and grant you the Stamp of Success.
Head of Department,
Department of Success
I maintain good relations with the Head of Department of Success. So, in case you have anything to say to Her, leave a comment, I shall convey the same.